BACP Reg. Personal Therapy in Bromley & Online
Welcome to Talkthinkact Counselling, Bromley
My name is Sally Spigner, I am a professionally qualified, BACP registered counsellor offering short and long term psychotherapeutic counselling and I work from a relaxed office within my home in Bromley. I work hard to make this an approachable and confidential space for adults of all ages and also teenage clients, working both in person and online. You won't find judgment here and do not need to feel intimidated in any way.
My counselling is both person-centred, you are the person in charge of the pace at which we work, how long it lasts for and which way you want it to go, and I also incorporate Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), positive psychology and mindfulness holistic approaches.
Let me help you to put your mind at ease. I understand that it can have taken you considerable time to decide to seek help, please call for a chat first if you need to (or ask me to call you if you have difficulty making calls!), it is always good to put a voice to a face and might help to reduce any anxiety which you feel.
Talk - discuss your concerns in complete confidentiality
Think - process events which have happened
Act - calmly, assertively and with direction
Who needs counselling?
1 in 4 of us in the UK will struggle with our mental health every year. Until the age of 50, the thing most likely to kill a man is himself, which is quite an amazing thought. Believing that they should be able to handle personal problems alone stops so many people from reaching out for assistance, despite being under unbearable levels of stress. We never make good decisions in those circumstances, if indeed we are able to make decisions at all.
If you are finding yourself angry at the slightest thing and flying off the handle, overly tearful, anxious or overreacting to day to day events and don't know why, or perhaps unable to make what should be the simplest of decisions, be aware that stress can and does kill! Counselling can be one of the tools to help you regain balance in your life.
Consider personal therapy as a method of mental health training, in the same way that you might enrol in a gym for your physical health. For so long opinion in the UK was that seeking therapy showed character weakness - thankfully the public are now more enlightened. The days of displaying a 'stiff upper lip' are over, real bravery is not ignoring or running away from your problems. but rather confronting your struggles and changing the way that things have always been done. There is absolutely no need for you to struggle alone.
What might counselling do for me?
Personally
Are you indecisive, overly anxious or depressed? Do you procrastinate over tasks which you know you need to do and miss out on opportunities because of this? Therapy can help you to learn to harness your mental energy, think more positively, become more assertive and actually start to ask for what you want.
Perhaps you simply feel as if life is passing you by, and that you are a passenger rather than a driving force in your relationships. Have you been carrying guilt and shame over past events needlessly for years, because you cannot forgive yourself for past mistakes you have made? With therapy it can be truly possible to put this down and consider what experiences and lessons you will take forwards. How big can you dream, start instead to imagine what it would be like to truly flourish and move towards this.
Professionally
Are you overlooked for promotion because you don't have enough presence in the organisation you work for? Maybe your company is not thriving because it cannot keep employees and you don't know why? Together we can re-energise your feelings about your career whether that is pinning you down toachieve a better work/life balance, or considering how to approach a completely new direction in a different field entirely. We can discuss turning redundancy into opportunity, bringing the best out of your valuable human resources, role play interview skills, identify strengths and weaknesses, start to call out workplace bullying or even consider how you muster the courage to bring an industrial tribunal case.
Family
Families can get into cycles of toxic behaviours and many things stop us from challenging the way things are done. Cultural expectations, your status in the pecking order, an overbearing parent, your age or your sex can all be reasons why you feel that your voice is never heard. If truth be known it can be that we have learned not to even ask for what we need, or have kept quiet for so long to maintain the status quo that we don’t even know what our opinions are any more. Therapy encourages you to examine how your younger experiences have coloured your views on life, instead of downplaying them telling yourself that others had it far worse. It becomes possible to establish boundaries even when there were none before, or give you the courage to cut the cord with certain family members and move forwards. Discussing your family with a counsellor who has no personal attachment to them can help give you a new perspective.
Relationships
Sometimes the way we think about our relationships can be part of the problem we experience within them. Have you brought insecurities developed during previous relationships into a new one and caused it to sour as a result. Having a confidential place to examine this can encourage you to resolve issues rather than constantly argue, ignore or run from them. It is possible to fall in love with your partner again and you can come closer together, or conversely you might need to get your head around ending a relationship which you have fought too long to save. Our roles in relationships change as we age, from child to teenager, young adult to parent, perhaps on to becoming a carer for your own partner or parents. You might be exploring your own sexual identity or even considering gender reassignment. As relationships change this can be an opportunity for growth rather than loss, you need to be giving yourself positive inner dialogue in order to surf these waves.
Loss
There are many sorts of loss in life; moving home, divorce, injury, losing jobs, bereavement or stillbirth, loss of innocence or trust, losing touch with friends, losing our physical or mental capabilities as we age, loss of sex drive or identity around the menopause, death of our beloved pets to name but a few. Often we can feel that we have to put on a brave face for those who are close to us, so we might never acknowledge our own feelings of grief and despondency, therapy can be a safe environment in which you can let those feelings out.
Think of your counsellor as being your own personal cheerleader, yet also somebody who will gently guide you if your feelings about a situation have become skewed.